JCDB!–A SERBIAN FILM: The False Prophet of Disturbing Cinema
Jojo cuts into A SERBIAN FILM, the false prophet of disturbing cinema!
Thanks for joining in on another flesh flaking installment of JOJO’S CINEMATIC DISTURBAPORIUM BLOG! Where I- writer/cartoonist, Jordan Jojo Carlman- rummage through the filthiest of disturbing cinema for your entertainment!
You lucky pig, you!
Well I hope this time you got all your shots, because we’re going all the way with the hyper violent sex opus A Serbian Film by Srdjan Spasojevic (stop trying to say it, you sound like an idiot).
If you’re like me, you probably first heard about ASF from participating in a “What is the most fucked up film of all time?” conversation with some fellow OK Cupid hopefuls. This likely played out with someone first offering up a real snoozer like Saw, which then got one-upped by a mouth breathing Human Centipede fan, who was, of course, promptly usurped by the slightly more esoteric ASF aficionado.
“Wow, Jojo, this must be pretty tops, Saw is real nnnnneeeaaaattttttt,” you provoke me.
Silence is a gift, Ugly.
But yes, when you look at the content of ASF it does seem like quite the contender. ASF’s story follows Milos, a semi-retired porn star /Bill Lumbergh look-a-like, as he struggles to provide for his wife and young son. Just when things look pretty bleak for Milos, he gets offered a meaty lead role in an “art film” directed by ominous underground pornographer Vukmir. Milos is torn between his vague conviction to not be an awesome Serbian porn star and the equally undefined amounts of life changing money he is offered by Vukmir; eventually, against his better judgment, Milos decides to get back in the saddle for one last rodeo.
Hit me with some clippeys, DJ, and don’t hold the spoilers.
Ugly, you just said a malformed mouthful.
Certainly those aforementioned unmentionables earn ASF a place in the annals of THE DISTURBAPORIUM…or do they?
Sure, this film has all the gut wrenching violence and depraved sexual exploit you could ask for, but the overly smooth visuals of the film–shot in a painfully shiny digital way–coupled with the laughable action sequences, kind of leaves you feeling like you just watched a Power Rangers tinted snuff film. What’s even worse is that under this sweaty meat party you are supposed to find a political message!
Yup! Spasojevicavonaronatic made the following statement when asked by the good folks at Electric Sheep if he was upset about how critics didn’t get why the film was so violent:
It doesn’t even matter to the censors that the film fights against the bad things that we’re talking about. Of course, it shows a lack of freedom of speech, but it also covers up crime. The film is a statement from the victim, but they’re not allowing us to talk about what happens. It’s not my fault, it’s not the victim’s fault that these things are bad. It’s my testimony and they’re forbidding me from telling it, because it’s too hard to watch.
Dear hideous reader, I consider myself an open minded man, capable of drawing many foolish conclusions from the rubbish I watch, but in a film where victims fight back against their aggressors with over sized dingle sticks, you’ll be hard pressed to glean political clarity. This film might be able to hold on to a shred of credibility if it wasn’t so proud of its over the top approach to violence. And it is for that reason that this film can only rate a “WTF” on the DISTURBAPORIUM SCALE; rated down for vaudevillian shenanigans and no small amount of up it’s own assery.
Till next time, Ugly, stay out of jail.
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Jordan "Jojo" Carlman is a writer cartoonist living in Los Angeles. His website, rumbleowl.com, kind of makes people worry about how he spends his free time, but get a few drinks in him and he will tell you all about his Risk/Catan hybrid desk top RPG, or maybe about that time he slapped an under age bear in the face.